Way Of The Peaceful Warrior
I have always loved creating lists, making plans, and setting goals. As a young kid I was always pretending to be the manager of the Yankees or other baseball teams writing out their pitching rotation and lineups.
As a teenager and in college I set out to go as far in my baseball career as I could. I loved competing, but I also loved planning (and writing out how I was going to improve.)
In this time period I felt that the key to happiness lied in attainment.
When my playing career ended I began to coach baseball and, while I did find great joy in that, something was missing. My happiness was flaky. For the past decade, it had been entirely dependent on how I pitched, or later, how my team performed.
Reaching a long sought after goal is an incredible experience. However, one of the sad realities of life is that the euphoria from reaching the pinnacle is fleeting; it doesn't last forever.
If you've been lucky enough to win a championship, you discover that the joy of winning isn't quite as great, nor does it last quite long as the incredible pain of losing and coming up just short. You may have experienced even great feelings of relief in addition to joy.
Does that mean we shouldn't strive for great achievement? Of course not. I believe in setting lofty goals and working like hell to turn them into reality. However, you must remove the illusory concept that once you get there you'll be happy and fulfilled.
As an avid planner and lover of lists, I was always thinking about the future, mapping out the path to get there, but failing at enjoying and being grateful for the present.
Everything changed for me almost exactly nine years ago, shortly before my 26th birthday, when I was lent the book The Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
I instantly became a different person. I know that sounds crazy, but it's simply true. I found what I was missing.
Happiness can only lie in the present; only in the striving of a goal and the deep realization that there's even beauty in the toughest of adversities. How? There are lessons to be found and resilience and grit to be developed through them that will serve you later. Life is either happening to you or for you.
To say I found the book incredibly enlightening wouldn't do it justice. Even more, I have read it two other times since (again quite recently) - and each time it has resonated with me even more.
I want to share eight of my favourite quotes from it:
"Feelings change. Sometimes sorrow, sometimes joy. But beneath it all remember the innate perfection of your life unfolding. That is the secret of unreasonable happiness."
"Your path will guide you; you cannot lose your way."
"Rule your mind or it will rule you."
"Love is not something to be understood; it can only be lived."
"You cannot attain happiness; it attains you."
"Embody what you teach; teach only what you embody."
"The real battles we face are inside of us."
"Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness - if you had precious little time left to live you'd waste precious little of it! Well, I'm telling you... you do have a terminal illness: it's called birth. You don't have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason or you will never be at all."